What’s Good for the Goose is Good for the Gander

Double Standards in Marital Expectations

Equality doesn’t come with double standards. (Image created by author in Canva Pro)

Marriage isn’t always about a partnership or a balance sheet of shared responsibilities. In fact, the scales of expectation and judgment often tip unfairly. When I share that my husband doesn’t work, that I am the primary breadwinner in my marriage, and that I’m often disappointed in my husband’s lack of effort as a house spouse, the reactions and comments are telling.

One woman told me outright this morning that I was in a “bad marriage” because of it. This same woman would likely defend a stay-at-home wife if her husband threatened to leave her for the same things my husband does.

Why do we, as a society, uphold such double standards?

What my husband does or doesn’t do for me is not the foundation on which I built my marriage, and for good reason. Do you know why most marriages fail? Because people give up on each other based on unmet expectations.

I’ve purposely built my life to destroy the biases that keep men and women divided in their marital roles and question the fairness of these long-held beliefs.