I am not a voracious feminist, however, I am a fervent supporter of equality. I believe women can do anything a man can do and people, regardless of gender, can be who they want to be. And recently a couple of articles on Medium have me scratching my head.
Today, as I was scrolling through my feed, there were two stories stacked back to back…
- One was addressing “hobosexual men,” — men who live from one woman to the next to avoid homelessness.
- The second addressed, “sugar babies,” — women who actively seek men to pay their way.
This immediately struck me as horribly unfair terminology. What’s the difference and who cares who’s supporting who?
What’s Gender Got to Do With It?
Until WWII and the Women’s Lib movement of the ’60s and ’70s, women were expected and encouraged to find a man to care for them, bear their children, and live subservient to their wage-earning husbands. They spent their days cleaning the house, taking care of the kids, and greeting their husbands at the door with their hair done, an apron on, and dinner on the table.
Women certainly didn’t work outside the home, their role was to be the support system for the man who provided their way. They were often even expected to overlook minor inconveniences like extramarital affairs and mistresses — because divorce was taboo and who wants a second-hand wife?
But when the war machine needed soldiers, women had to step into the working world, and suddenly many of them experienced a financial freedom they never imagined.
Today, although still marginalized in many ways, women have come a long way, so why is it so hard to imagine a relationship where a woman provides for a man?
Pairing is Caring
I don’t care if you are in a male/female relationship, a male/male relationship, a female/female relationship, in a platonic roommate relationship, or doubling up with a goat… when we…